I Don't Know

I don't know if I should be living my life this way. I don't know if I should be afraid of whats coming, or if I am ignoring things I shouldn't. If regret is going to sieze me one day, and cripple me. I don't know if I'm going in the right direction. Or if I'm making progress or not. I don't know where I'll be in 10 years. 5 years. 1 year. Or October. I don't know if I'm inclined in any way, towards anything, or I've skated by. I don't know if my life is an elaborate ruse, and I just really have myself convinced. I don't know if people see through it. I don't know if I'm being emo right now. I don't know why I'm not panicing. I don't know why I haven't shocked myself into change. I don't know if I already have changed. I don't know if I'm going backwards. I don't know if I'm growing up. I don't know if I should get back to acting like a child again, with all its purity and flaws and innocence and earnest, or grow up and handle all the things everyone expects me to handle. I don't know where to draw the line between living passionately and living selfishly. I don't know if people hate me. I don't know if people love me. I don't know if they should or shouldn't. I don't know if I'll be a household name, or be homeless. I don't know if I am going to help people, or feed off of people. I don't know if I'm doing anything right, and I don't know why I'm not working right now.

All I know is this shit is fucking confusing and God better forgive me if I mess up.