Friends

I just had a couple good conversations with a coworker and friend, which got me thinking about friendship and how to deal with maintaining a good base of friends while allowing yourself the ability to grow as you please.

I think that friends are a huge blessing. But they can be a huge curse at the same time. The blessings of having friends are innumerable, and I don't know what I would do without my peoples. However, there are pitfalls to maintaining such a close relationship with a group of people.

1) Lifestyle blending: I've observed this several times among my various peer groups. You tend to connect with people based on similarities. For example let's say you like to party (NOT talking about myself AT ALL (cough...cough...hic)). You have a group of friends who ALSO like to party. You guys go out, party, and have a ball. But people are multi-faceted. This partygoer over here might like to chill and have a doobie now and again. That partygoer may like to read. And you might like to listen to music. When you have a group of friends, you often feel obligated (per human nature) to find your common ground and stick with it. Thus you may end up ignoring your other sides (That reminded me of another thought I had recently, which will become a post soon). That dulls you out.

2) Breaking the Habit: When you decide you want to do something different, let's say get a girlfriend/boyfriend, or maybe another job, be prepared to welcome conflict into the situation. I have observed that alot of the time when you have to sacrifice time with a person for time with another [WHATEVER], they're going to either try to pull you back in, or push away harder. Both of these reactions are based on conflict being improperly resolved, and leave a bitter taste.

Friends can sometimes provide you with an excellent opportunity to learn and grow. But when that growth slows, or even stops, one has to be mature enough to take appropriate action. I'm not talking about cutting people out of your life, NECESSARILY, but you just have to be aware of yourself and your goals and the path that life is taking you. Because it might not be the same path as so-and-so's. It's hard to keep moving along your journey when leaving people you love behind comes with the territory, but learning to accept that is part of the growth experience of life.

And there's always going to be those people who stand by you even when they're not standing by you. Yao ming?

Peace.