I had a thought today that completely made me turn everything upside down.
If you haven't noticed I'm very anti-boxes. I hate having predefined ways of looking at things. The way I look at it is that it's impossible to have a set standard reaction for every situation. It doesn't make sense, your brain can't hold a database like that. So I hate boxes.
The problem is, I'm full of shit.
Because I like to make sense of everything around me. Another thing you may have noticed in this blog, if you've looked at enough posts, is that I like to organize what I observe. And file everything away. In boxes.
I was driving when I realized this, and I almost crashed.
So what the fuck? Okay, I hate boxes, but I feel compelled to make sense of my world, and create this little guide for myself. This is a big ass philosophical contradiction. Where the hell am I supposed to go from here?
Maybe it's neither. Maybe this is where being idealistic gets you. It makes no sense to look at everything in life with virgin eyes, every day would be pretty fucking taxing. But you can't define something thats undefinable. Or you can't simply accept someone else's definition of something.
It's funny, as much as I hate people classifying me as anything, in my head I actually try to define who I am. Instead of just being it. And it will come off as forced every time. If I'm an artist I should just be an artist right? Not tell myself I'm an artist and force what I think should come from that... haha I'm a lil fucked up in the head
Life is about balance, and jumping from one end of the see-saw to the other is as productive as masturbation. I'm not sure where that balance is. It's gonna take a while to figure it out, but at least I'm not bullshitting myself.
You know, whenever I realized something like this, where I feel like I've been hiding something from myself or not being totally honest with myself, I wonder how many other lil traps I've set. I guess figuring this shit out and fixing is part of the growth process in life.
I think I'm rambling at this point. I'm just going to go back to watching Lost. Good night folks.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
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So, boxes, categories, labels - all are context, which is perceived.
ReplyDeleteI may or may not be able to jump or dance, and someone may assume that without watching me try because - let's face it - I'm pretty white. Whether or not I take offense isn't the point. Whether that inhibits me from busting out a move or not isn't the point. The point is that people have to make assumptions at some point in order to organize the chaos that surrounds them.
Crayons don't belong with the post-it notes, but the context is probably office/school supplies, so they're stuck there - kmart shelf buddies for life.
I have to be ok with people assuming I go on a certain shelf or fit in a certain context, and I can't devote my life to breaking the mold just for the sake of proving them wrong - after all, every "assumer" is just trying to make sense of their world by creating these shortcuts or stereotypes that shorten their cognitive process of understanding a person, concept, or event. Libertarian. Asian. Adopted. Endomorph. Whatever. We attach whatever possible so we can simplify our labelling process. Cuz God knows we can't get by without labelling.
Maybe keep thinking in boxes. But make sure they're never completely opaque.
Hope my perspective made some sense. I love pondering this stuff. I'm gonna go have some more tropical gushers.
Thanks rachel - bring some of those treats whenever we work on the video!
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