As many may know - I am a fan of caffeine and the like.
Today, I woke up at 7:05, almost fell asleep standing in the shower, promptly went BACK to sleep after I was done, and left for work 10 minutes later than usual. I know today is going to take a more than typical number of stimulants to keep me awake. At a certain point, they make me feel so horrible (jittery, fluttery heart rate, nausea) I would rather just be tired. I've never gotten a good grip on this "point of no return" so I have decided to document how I felt as I ingest various forms of caffeine throughout the day.
9:05 am: Got into work in a foggy haze, kept my wits about me just enough to say hello to coworkers. Get to my office and leave the lights off.
9:10am: Cleaning lady comes in the office, assuming no one is inside, and turns on the lights, searing my optic nerves. Permenant damage is likely. I decide its time for breakfast, and walk out of my office.
9:20am: Sit at my desk and wolf down a 5 hour energy drink with breakfast, and follow it up with a Starbucks Frappuccino (the bottle kind). Stomach hurts soon after.
10:30am: I've been surfing Yahoo! News and CNN for an hour and realize I've been to each site at least 3 times in that span. Need more. Go to the little convenience store and purchase two Red Bulls.
11:00am: First Red Bull was delicious. I am so conditioned at this point that the chemical sting of Red Bull is enough to wake me up. This type of exhaustion is a menacing foe, however. Stay tuned to see how our Crimson Bovine friend holds up.
11:18am: I am amused by very little things. Thoughts wandering. "Red Bull cans look like soccer jerseys." "I still have a Christmas card at my desk... from someone that got fired 3 months ago....that no one even liked." Feel like drawing now. Work seems manageable but pointless.
11:30am: Washington, DC is the 45th best place to live on Earth. -- via Yahoo! News
11:34am: Open the second Red Bull.
11:49am: Other guy in my office listens to 93.9-esque playlists EVERY DAY. This is contributing to the onset of a creeping headache. Pandora, ACTIVATE!
11:53am: Pandora has instantly saved the day with a 3-hit combo of excellence. Two stations every hip-hop lover should have: OutKast Radio, and J. Cole Radio. Awakeness level: 6.5
12:14pm: Went to the bathroom for the 3rd time today. Combined with the trip to get breakfast and the trip to get the Red Bulls, coworkers must be asking questions by now. Sidenote - my caffeine tolerance is surprising even to myself.
12:50pm: Just found out my coworker is, in fact, listening to 93.9 radio online. 4 energy drinks and 4 hours into the work day I have nothing to show and still feel only as awake as I usually do just getting into work. Just remembered I'm leaving for Myrtle Beach after work today. Rejuvinated.
12:54pm: Rejuvination wore off. Put on my Wrecknotronika Station on pandora. My "Break Glass in Case of Emergency" station. Also plotting on another 5 hours energy drink to cap this day off. Feeling gassy. Probaby good on the Red Bulls for today.
1:22pm: Just opened and drank an Extra Strength 5 Hour Energy drink. Combined with music, brain feels like either it's (a) in the Mortal Kombat movie or (b) dating Chris Brown. Currently listening to: Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan. Stomach really starting to fight back now.
1:35pm: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (robotique majestique - ghostland observatory)
1:49pm: Eric Prydz - Call on Me --- inside I'm doing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmtzQCSh6xk
1:50pm: Excecutive Decision: No more energy drinks.
2:05pm: Periods of productivity punctuated by waves of agony due to stomach spasms analogous to periods of contentment punctuated by waves of regret.
3:00pm: Vital status - Heartrate fine. Stomach fine. Still tired as shit but probably couldn't go to sleep. Cigarette craving higher than normal. Lunchtime passed without so much as a thought about eating - punishment for this oversight will likely be realized an hour or two after I leave work. More productive in the last hour than the previous five. Awakeness level: 7, but Alertness level: <5. Two hours left. Seems possible to ride out the day, but if i get a taxing assignment in this period, further stimulation may be necessary.
3:15pm: Meditative thought heightened my alertness by at least 1 point. I'm not at work anymore. I'm floating in outer space with headphones on.
4:18pm: Started drawing. Feel top-notch. Alerness level: 6.5, Awakeness level: 7.5, Focus level: -43
4:58pm: Already gone. Thankfully, today was slow. Notgivafuck levels are off the meter right now. Got a single call, and completely bullshitted my way through it. As far as the amount of energy drink to have, self-control and examination of my body's reaction caused me to completely nail the correct amount as well as the timing. I am officially on vacation. Peace, Love, and Nappiness
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way is actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."
- Margaret Young
The funny thing is - some people may think I'm criticizing the way other people do things - on the contrary, I really believe I do this more than anyone, it's just being what I "really am" may take alot more courage than I have.
- Margaret Young
The funny thing is - some people may think I'm criticizing the way other people do things - on the contrary, I really believe I do this more than anyone, it's just being what I "really am" may take alot more courage than I have.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Another Day Another Collar
With a slight frown I lay down my head
To pick it up next with a badge and a blackberry
Five days with a mask because I'm too ugly for money
-- Superficial bitch.
But I'm good,
One day I'll find my soulmate
and retire disguises.
There's always a spark,
It's just waiting for fire.
To pick it up next with a badge and a blackberry
Five days with a mask because I'm too ugly for money
-- Superficial bitch.
But I'm good,
One day I'll find my soulmate
and retire disguises.
There's always a spark,
It's just waiting for fire.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Depends on who you ask. (from john mayers blog)
I’m not sure if it’s a function of advancing age or just the times we’re living in, but it’s almost impossible for me to find complete external validation in any one thought, desire, instinct or vision anymore.
Who do you want to be exactly like? Is there anybody in this world who’s laid down a template for your dreams and goals that you’d copy and paste over your own life’s story? Maybe you want to go to a music college as I did when I decided to attend Berklee College of Music in Boston. Start asking some alums whether it’s worth it and you’ll get two distinct answers. One half of the control group will tell you it’s not worth it, that you might as well just start a band and hit the road. The other half will tell you that it was the flash point for their music career and that without it they’d be nowhere. The answer depends on the experience had by each person you talk to. Maybe the “Nos” spent their semesters curled up in a ball fighting with their boyfriend or girlfriend on the phone and never applied themselves to making the most of the time there. You’ll never find the answer you want, just information with which to build your own idea and chart your own course.
Take your favorite artist, the one you look up to and see as the perfect specimen of talent, values, output, whatever the case may be - and someone else has a reason why they’re not worth even a passing glance. Is “Bob Dylan: Don’t Look Back” the documentary of a genius iconoclast or was he a self absorbed pseudo-intellectual bully? It depends on who you ask. Is Jay-Z the reigning king of hip hop or is he “all business” now? It depends on who you ask. I bring up both names because if you ask me, I put them at the top of my list of people who can do very little if no wrong at all, but it won’t take long to read someone’s opposing point of view. If you’re not sure of what you love, that means you can be talked out of it, and that’s a slippery slope.
Is your boyfriend cute? Was Hurt Locker the best movie of the year? Are you going to go out in those shoes? Should you take the promotion and move to Boston? Did I wear “Hammer” pants on stage in Houston or is Rick Owens a visionary clothing designer?
It all depends on who you ask.
Which is a pretty great reason to stop asking all together. Nobody’s life template will ever lay evenly over yours. And in those times when they clash completely, you have to walk alone, with confidence that you’re creating your own template, made out of your own instincts and your own dreams and your own goals. And if you do it long enough, maybe someone someday will look to yours as the life to model theirs after. Of course, some people won’t agree with them. It will all depend on who they ask.
via jhnmyr.tumblr.com
Who do you want to be exactly like? Is there anybody in this world who’s laid down a template for your dreams and goals that you’d copy and paste over your own life’s story? Maybe you want to go to a music college as I did when I decided to attend Berklee College of Music in Boston. Start asking some alums whether it’s worth it and you’ll get two distinct answers. One half of the control group will tell you it’s not worth it, that you might as well just start a band and hit the road. The other half will tell you that it was the flash point for their music career and that without it they’d be nowhere. The answer depends on the experience had by each person you talk to. Maybe the “Nos” spent their semesters curled up in a ball fighting with their boyfriend or girlfriend on the phone and never applied themselves to making the most of the time there. You’ll never find the answer you want, just information with which to build your own idea and chart your own course.
Take your favorite artist, the one you look up to and see as the perfect specimen of talent, values, output, whatever the case may be - and someone else has a reason why they’re not worth even a passing glance. Is “Bob Dylan: Don’t Look Back” the documentary of a genius iconoclast or was he a self absorbed pseudo-intellectual bully? It depends on who you ask. Is Jay-Z the reigning king of hip hop or is he “all business” now? It depends on who you ask. I bring up both names because if you ask me, I put them at the top of my list of people who can do very little if no wrong at all, but it won’t take long to read someone’s opposing point of view. If you’re not sure of what you love, that means you can be talked out of it, and that’s a slippery slope.
Is your boyfriend cute? Was Hurt Locker the best movie of the year? Are you going to go out in those shoes? Should you take the promotion and move to Boston? Did I wear “Hammer” pants on stage in Houston or is Rick Owens a visionary clothing designer?
It all depends on who you ask.
Which is a pretty great reason to stop asking all together. Nobody’s life template will ever lay evenly over yours. And in those times when they clash completely, you have to walk alone, with confidence that you’re creating your own template, made out of your own instincts and your own dreams and your own goals. And if you do it long enough, maybe someone someday will look to yours as the life to model theirs after. Of course, some people won’t agree with them. It will all depend on who they ask.
via jhnmyr.tumblr.com
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
if anybody even still comes here, im sorry i have so much to blog about but neither the time or resources... this blogging thing honestly wasnt just a phase i really appreciate this type of a forum. twitter and facebook just dont cut it i feel like this is VIP only. ill be back one day. and this shit is gonna be so much more. if youre still here, thanks for your patience. if youre not.. then youre not reading this so FUCK YOUR MOTHER
I'm just playin, you know I love you
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