The Old Me and The New Me

This is going to be alot shorter than it should be because I talk about an issue that I mull over every day, every hour, and runs really DEEP. I'm in the middle of a diesel-ass identity crisis. But this is not about an identity crisis. This is about a situation.

I often struggle with this concept of the boy I used to be and the man I want to be. I feel like I'm somewhere in-between, very much in a transitional state. There are many, many traits of these two characters, both VERY DISTINCT. One of them I can observe in action. The other, I'm too engaged in life to observe. The minute I observe it, I fall back to the prior, becoming disengaged from the beauty of life. I'm not getting something right... I think I know what it is, and I am going to continue to work on it.

However, this blog post is not some spiritual epiphany I had. It's just how I feel right now. The old me is a person who relates to EVERYONE. SO much so that he forgets how to relate to himself. The new me, is so confident in what he stands for, there are no other worries or woes. This version of myself has feelings, and loves his fellow man (perhaps more than the old - seemingly more sympathetic - me), but KNOWS what is right. And he reflects what is right in his easy flow of words, swagger, intuitiveness, calmness of spirit, and countless other emotions he feels. He has certain things that he stands by. But sometimes there is a roadblock. Sometimes the old me takes over in certain situations.

I have found that my ideals are often betrayed by my conscience. The short-sightedness of the old me sees the hurt that I MAY cause in the moment. But the new me understands that standing by what I believe is right is the most important thing, because I'm a good person. The old me questions me, questions my intentions, and questions my decisions, and questions my intelligence. And the me right now listens (should the last two sentences go in a song?). Every time. I just blogged about how part of loving someone is being able to tell them what is right even if it hurts them. This is why I said the last sentence in that blog.

(deep breath) (do what's right, not what's nice)

peace

The Epochs - Love Complete

YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!

whoa...

V for Vendetta was a good fuckin movie

I was just watching V for Vendetta, and it was V's death scene. He said that he had fallen in love with Evee, and I had a thought about what it means to love a person. Contrary to popular belief, the different "forms" of love are not as different as they may seem. They may have different ASPECTS that accompany them, but the -->heart<-- of it is the same.

Now, I don't mean to confine a concept as (rightfully) broad and vague as "LOVE" but I just had a thought on it. 

ONE LOVE is a concept I learned from rasta movement, one which I understand and relate to. But there was a SOUL aspect of the ONE LOVE concept, that I didn't completely realize. We are all ONE, and LOVE is the spirit that connects us. But this spirit is smothered constantly, because of earthly attachment. We become more concerned with our happiness (one which we have not taken the time to break down and analyze so as to understand what makes us happy, instead resorting to drugs, alcohol, etc.). Now, to address this concern, is to address ourselves as an individual, as a person, made of matter, flesh, bones, nerves, all that. This is INHERENTLY ignoring the feelings of others. But it's not that simple. People are connected by ONE LOVE, thats what makes us truly concerned with the wellbeing of others. That's how we come into the world.  It becomes this dependence on earthly pleasures that FORCES us to close that connection, so we have the energy to do what we ((think)) is best for us.

To love someone, to me, is to keep that connection open (reopen it, in some cases). Any feeling, anything you learn, anything you experience, you wish upon that person. You want everything for that person that you would want for yourself. [INTERJECTION: achieving the next sentence would you require knowing what would be best for yourself] It is understanding what is really BEST for that person, even when it's not something they want to hear. Even when everyone else is sugarcoating it. Even if they might HATE you for it (because if it was really what was best for them, at the end of they day they wouldn't hate you... isn't hate just a form of love anyway? hmm...).

But I'm not sure, really. I'm not sure if I've even experienced it.

P.S. I'm high so.... yeah, take what you want from this.

Thought of the Day

You can follow the future, you can can chase the future, but you'll never catch it. You'll just trip over the present and end up in the past.

Lead the future, but be prepared to deal with many people around you choosing to stay back.

I have a follower!!

Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!

I'm not Multi-Faceted...

I was thinking about this concept of being multi-faceted the other day, and there was something that kind of bothered me about it. I understand the idea behind it but I just don't agree with the execution of the phrase.

Here's what I don't like about it: the idea of one person having different sides to them sound like straight bullshit to me. It sounds like an excuse for people being TWO-FACED. Yes, I know multi-faceted means that you have various interests and various traits about you. But ... to me there's still ONE. A diamond has facets. Distinct sides. They all show a very different perspective of the rest of the jewel. I feel like one who has FACETS has not gotten to the point in their life where they have truly understood themselves.

I prefer something like a Sphere. A sphere seems so perfect to me because its COHESIVE. Theres ONE SIDE. There's a million points and each point is a unique place on the sphere. You can follow one point to the next to the next and the next and you'll be going on forever. The sphere provides unlimited continuity and infiniteness which I believe exists in people. And you can follow a straight around the circle and the point may have changed by the time you get back around. No matter what point on the sphere you look at, no matter what angle, no matter what perspective you take its the SAME SPHERE.

Cut jewels seem confused. They are cut in such a way that they appear beautiful, because each side knows how to reflect the light in such a way that catches your eye. But to me beauty truly lies in the sphere's centeredness.

I might have not completely thought this through, to the point where I can really explain myself clearly, but I hope this was enough.

Be a sphere... and keep rolling!

Just a Thought

Comfort is the blessing of the passionate... and the illusion of the lathargic

"Peace" Tip of the Day

If you consume yourself with doing your best you'll never have time to worry about failure.

Interesting site...

http://www.ifamericansknew.org/

Another Quote about Love

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

- Bob Marley

Interesting Quote About Love

"Love is strong, yet delicate... it can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."

"Peace" Tip of the Day

Once you know the kind of person you want to be, you have everything you need to get there. You are the vehicle, and you just found the fuel. Drive.

Friends

I just had a couple good conversations with a coworker and friend, which got me thinking about friendship and how to deal with maintaining a good base of friends while allowing yourself the ability to grow as you please.

I think that friends are a huge blessing. But they can be a huge curse at the same time. The blessings of having friends are innumerable, and I don't know what I would do without my peoples. However, there are pitfalls to maintaining such a close relationship with a group of people.

1) Lifestyle blending: I've observed this several times among my various peer groups. You tend to connect with people based on similarities. For example let's say you like to party (NOT talking about myself AT ALL (cough...cough...hic)). You have a group of friends who ALSO like to party. You guys go out, party, and have a ball. But people are multi-faceted. This partygoer over here might like to chill and have a doobie now and again. That partygoer may like to read. And you might like to listen to music. When you have a group of friends, you often feel obligated (per human nature) to find your common ground and stick with it. Thus you may end up ignoring your other sides (That reminded me of another thought I had recently, which will become a post soon). That dulls you out.

2) Breaking the Habit: When you decide you want to do something different, let's say get a girlfriend/boyfriend, or maybe another job, be prepared to welcome conflict into the situation. I have observed that alot of the time when you have to sacrifice time with a person for time with another [WHATEVER], they're going to either try to pull you back in, or push away harder. Both of these reactions are based on conflict being improperly resolved, and leave a bitter taste.

Friends can sometimes provide you with an excellent opportunity to learn and grow. But when that growth slows, or even stops, one has to be mature enough to take appropriate action. I'm not talking about cutting people out of your life, NECESSARILY, but you just have to be aware of yourself and your goals and the path that life is taking you. Because it might not be the same path as so-and-so's. It's hard to keep moving along your journey when leaving people you love behind comes with the territory, but learning to accept that is part of the growth experience of life.

And there's always going to be those people who stand by you even when they're not standing by you. Yao ming?

Peace.

Fear and Self-Satisfaction

The two demons that stand between the people we are and the people we need to be. Different methods, but same goal. To stop you from change. I don't say stop you from improving because it's a personal choice whether you want to change for the better or worse.

Fear:
Fear of judgement, fear of loss, fear of disappointment or failure. These are the things that limit us from trying new things, taking risks, and stepping out of our comfort zone. Fear is EVERYWHERE and it affects EVERYONE. Those who deny that are in a deep fucking hole.
But there is a cure for fear, and that is: FAITH. Faith in a higher power (in the most BROAD and VAGUE sense, for the sake of being applicable to as many people as possible), and/or faith in yourself. If you truly believe that you have the capabilities you need to be who you want to be, and you believe that the universe has it's way of working itself out, there's nothing that can stop you. Except:

Self-Satisfaction:
This is what happens when people say things like "that's just the way I am." I strongly believe you are the person you want to be. TODAY, it's not a process, like "I'm going to become that kind of person." Talk is cheap, you ARE who you really WANT to be. Now being successful, famous, having a family, etc. are aspects of your life. They are not the person you are. So you may not be rich, but that doesn't mean you can't be who you want to be. Keep that in mind. You are who you want to be. And if you're not, you probably don't want it enough. Or at all. Self-satisfaction WILL halt any chance of you becoming better. Trust that.

I suffer from both of these.


"I ain't no perfect man, I'm trying to do, the best that I can... with what it is I have."
-Mos Def, Umi Says

"Peace" Tip of the Day

Your mind deals with what you don't know and your heart deals with what you do. Don't confuse the two.

What is an Artist?

It's a difficult question to answer, but I think about it alot. It's especially difficult because an ARTIST is usually defined as such based on a criterion which depends on their concentration. But there's so many different kinds of art. Art is everywhere around us. There's so many mediums. There's dancers, there's MC's, there's painters, there's tattoo artists, COOKS, there's writers, orators even. You can't have a different definition or artist for each medium... The ARTIST remains the same throughout.

This started when I began realizing how many different ARTS I was into. First, let's go into what I KNOW how to do, fairly well: draw, with a pencil. However, alot of times, when I see something that I consider ART, it excites me. I want to understand it, I want to get involved, and learn it. I want to get better at writing lyrics, and if I could write music, that would be even better. I want to learn photography, videography, any type of digital media. I wish I had enough money to be into fashion. What kind of artist am I?

Since art is so incredibly BROAD, to define an ARTIST, I would have to first find a common definition of what ART is.  Art, at it's core is EXPRESSION. Now this EXPRESSION is of emotions, or concepts, or an understanding or perception of something, or whatever may be in the expressor's mind at the time. We all experience the same world, but all interpret it differently, which is what makes one persons expression eternally interesting. Also, another purpose of art is to be pleasing to the observer. Whether it's sight, sound, or TASTE even, it is somehow aesthetically pleasing. And as I run through the various mediums, that seems to be the only common thread held in all of them. So that's what I'll be using as my definition.

This definition offers no restrictions on mediums. 

So an artist, to me, is someone who uses something to express themself somehow, in a way that is pleasing to the senses of the observer. VAGUE, right? I'd have it no other way.

But since I'm an artists, here's a better way of saying it:

Artists are people who make the world beautiful.