Midterms

As this blog is progressing it seems like there less and less of my opinion, and my insights, but its become sort of a well of inspiration. This change was a natural reaction to the way I've been feeling towards this little nook i've made for myself. This blog has pretty much been an accurate depiction of where my head is at. At a certain point, I drownd myself in psycho analysis, and i'm gasping for color, for pain, for taste, and all the good and bad things that make rollercoasters so much better than carousels. things have gotten numbing at this point and i can no longer look at myself in the mirror after spewing all this bullshit - I'm lying to myself if I think I get it, and I'd be remiss to convince others i do. I guess I've kind gotten to a point where i realized that I'm full of shit. Everything I've used to understand the world around me was not a conscious digestion of my experiences. rather, it was a fearful study of my environment from a distance, so as to "control" things. If i know the result before it happens, it can't hurt. Because disappointment hurts. but if i know the result before it happens, whether or not there is another possible way of things playing out, im stuck to that fate that i myself have predetermined. So instead of retreating into myself and creating emotions that should be there for the world to shrug off - ill just continue observing things that interest me. the heart and soul of this blog is still exactly the same, i just had to trim a little fat.

i've created another blog which i have yet to touch. it'll be just as open to everyone but probably (as in, most likely (as in, definitely)) won't be as interesting. I have trouble keeping tabs on myself, and i usually end up doing the same shit for a long time, boring myself into a pit of self-hatred. so i will use this blog to document my station. Not in a serious over analytical way, just what i'm up to. what I've seen. Obviously this wont be updated as much, but hopefully as I look back on my posts I'll either be inspired to do more, or disgusted that I haven't. And the end result hopefully should be - more experiences. It's been almost two years since I started the Student of Life, and I think the Student needs to stop trying to be his own Teacher. próximo estación


here's the link to the new jumpoff (empty as of yet): http://tellindontshow.blogspot.com/